One of the longest-running jokes in English soccer is that whenever Manchester United plays in London (a five-hour drive in traffic), at least their fans don’t have far to travel.
The implication is that, because of United’s historic dominance, glory-hunting supporters from the capital and other parts of England have gravitated en masse to the Red Devils instead of backing their local team — something that constitutes a far greater sporting crime in Europe than it does in this country.
Going back three decades, generations of English soccer fans lived with a simple reality: If you wanted a team that won all the time, you supported United, regardless of geography. If you supported anyone else, you hated United. With passion.
Think the New England Patriots at their Brady/Belichick peak and magnify it to 12 championships in 21 years, and you get the idea of the level of jealousy. This is why, right now, every other team in the EPL is laughing loud and long.
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Following a calamitous start to the new English Premier League season, United, owned by the Glazer family that also controls the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, is mired in a situation that would have been unthinkable just a few years back.
Consecutive defeats to lightly-regarded Brighton and Brentford to begin the new campaign has consigned the club to the foot of the EPL table — 20th place out of 20 teams. Forget about trips to the fanciest stadiums in London, if this holds, United could soon be making journeys to unglamorous locales in places like Huddersfield, Luton and Blackpool in the Championship — one level down.
Realistically, for a club with United’s global brand and spending power, relegation (the bottom three are demoted at season’s end) is never going to happen. But the decline is still stunning to witness. A neat example of how badly things have gone wrong is that Cristiano Ronaldo, who is desperate to leave United but is still on the books for now, makes more each week than either Brighton or Brentford’s collective starting XI payroll.
However, to understand why this is all so darn funny to everyone else, you need to go back to 1999.
That was when England’s most fabled club was at the very top. Not only did legendary head coach Sir Alex Ferguson lead the squad to three trophies in a single season, with the EPL crown followed by the FA Cup and a dramatic Champions League triumph. But the group of players had cache — David Beckham possessed pop star status and several others were not far behind in the celebrity stakes.
They were the team to beat, and, for a bunch of kids who are now hitting their 40s, the team to support. They haven’t had much cause to regret it over the years, but there sure feels like some now.
The current head coach, highly rated Dutch tactician Erik ten Hag, looks shell-shocked and must be wondering what he’s signed up for after the initial pair of dismal performances.
United’s recruitment and lack of strategy has become a laughingstock. And the jokes just keep on coming.
There have been multiple protests against the Glazer regime — a mooted boycott titled #emptyoldtrafford has been trending on Twitter — and more will be planned after the 4-0 demolition by Brentford on Saturday.
Primarily, supporters want the Glazers to invest more in the team and the Old Trafford stadium.
United remains a worldwide soccer brand arguably matched only by Real Madrid and Barcelona. But, since Ferguson retired in 2013, success has dried up. Coaches have come and gone. Big-name acquisitions have been signed and then discarded. Rivals like Manchester City and Liverpool have risen to the fore and become the new standard of excellence in the English game.
It is 30 years since United started a season with consecutive losses. Ironically, they ended that campaign with the title. No one is predicting the same outcome this time.
And no one can quite agree on where the blame lies.
“You can look at the players all you like, but there are big things that need to be put right,” former United captain Gary Neville told Sky Sports.
Has Ronaldo become a distraction for Erik ten Hag?
Alexi Lalas and David Mosse debate whether Cristiano Ronaldo’s antics have caused a distraction for Manchester United and first season manager Erik ten Hag.
Others point to those on the field for not showing enough fight. Certainly, Ronaldo’s desire to be elsewhere has done nothing for team unity.
Up to now, ten Hag has avoided criticism, but that may not last long. There are problems everywhere — incredibly so — for a club where success was once so ingrained that it felt like nothing could go wrong.
“The club is rotten,” Neville added.
Indeed, and it is hard to see things turning around quickly. United fans may be holding their noses a while longer, as the rest of English soccer keeps on laughing.
