Kick the "Have-To" Habit - South Florida Tribune

“ME” Monday® 7-20-2020 Kick the “HAVE-TO” Habit

Does it ever feel like you can’t get something done because there are always other things you “have-to” do?

It’s frustrating, right?

There aren’t any quick fixes and the “easy” button doesn’t give us long-lasting results.

What makes those “have-to” items so important? What might we prefer?

You know, when my children were young, I was on the move all day long with work, kids, and home. There was no energy left to feel, and I was stressed out from all the “have-to” things on my “to-do” list. If I could’ve only sat down for a few minutes to relax, but there was no room on that “to-do” list for me!

How come there is always time for the “have-to” items? When do we get to schedule time for ourselves? How would it feel if there was at least one day on the calendar that allotted some “have-to-do-something-special for ME” time?

What is important about setting up “ME” time? How would this feel different?

Accomplishing this might entail exchanging some old habits for new ones. ‘Habits’ are the things we automatically do without thinking.

How many daily practices do you have?

When the alarm goes off in the morning waking us up, we instinctively head for the bathroom to wash up and get ready. An even simpler example is that we ‘stop’ on red and ‘go’ on green. Why? Because it is an action we’ve learned and repeated over and over for so long it became automatic. How would it feel if planning “ME” time became a reflex?

One of the reasons it seems so tough to change a “have-to” practice is that it can take at least 28 days to develop a new one and about 90+ days to avoid slipping back into old ones.

If you feel like you have tried everything without success, that doesn’t mean there is no solution.

The amount of time it is going to take can vary from person to person and situation to situation. Be flexible and don’t set long-term, firm deadlines that are hard to meet. Set smaller, short-term goals. Be specific about what you want to achieve. Ask yourself these questions:

• How will you be able to recognize when you have reached your anticipated outcome?

• How can you make certain you will attain what you want to?

• Think about where you are now and what you might want instead.

• Is this goal realistic?

• By when would you like to achieve this?

Jesse Itzler expresses his passion for self-responsibility in his quote, “LIVE like you’re going to die tomorrow and LEARN like you are going to live forever!”

How can considering Jesse Itzler’s quote help motivate us to begin to move to #1 on that “to-do” list?

What might we need to learn to establish a new “ME time” routine?

Prioritize self-care and begin to make the positive changes you want. Schedule that “have-to-do- something special for ME time” today, on “ME” Monday®. There is no time better than right now!

Be safe. Be healthy. Be self-responsible. Be POWERFUL!

Lynn Lessell CHC, CLC, FBS, TCM

The Identity Coach

Certified in Health & Life Transformation